Well, this is my first post in a long time, ever since I came back from Boot Camp. Let me just tell you, boot camp was an experience and it really did change my life, and I think it is for the better. Hmm, anyway I don’t have internet right now at my new apartment building, so I’m sitting here at the UC Davis gym writing this since they have pretty fast and secure wi-fi. I’ll write again when I do get some internet. Have a good time ;D

Let me start off by saying that I really haven’t posted in forever. I keep telling myself that I would post here, but the thing is that I’m always way too tired to really post. For the past however many days I have been around not posting, I’ve pretty much either been sitting around and watching videos on Hulu or going to the zoo. I won’t be around for about 2 months and so I’m trying to enjoy the zoo and all the excellente animals before I leave. I actually leave on Sunday, so that’s coming up really soon. I still have to pack and this is a post just to tell you that I won’t be updating for 2 or more months, until I’m done setting up in the apartment up at Davis. Sweet huh? Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy. I’m going to update wordpress, read my feeds, and then blog. Chow!

Well, well, look what I have here. I’m pretty much done in this journal for the blogging season I guess. I mean if banks, financial institutions, and all established businesses have season and fiscal years, then why shouldn’t I? Actually it’s not that. Ever since my last post I haven’t done much of anything. I have discovered a new show to watch on Hulu. It’s called S.W.A.T and it’s kind of an old show, but I still love it. It is still as intense and it can get with old action. I love it and I want to watch all that Hulu has to offer on it. Today is Tuesday, which means that the Hell’s Kitchen finale aired. I totally missed it since my parents were watching our single TV, but I’ll be sure to catch it when it comes out on Hulu. I’ve been assigned to work at  the zoo and I’m ready to fulfill that challenge. What else am I going to do? Hmm…actually nothing much. I don’t actually have that much time left here. I’m about to go to the Coast Guard Boot Camp. Excellent huh? I would think so. I should get some sleep now since I have to appear at the zoo tomorrow. Goodnight!

Here it is, another journal post. I don’t think I’ve done a lot lately. Let’s see what I’ve done so far since my last post. I went out for a whole bunch of runs because I really have to get back into shape. I also went over to a Giants baseball game with a bunch of my friends. It was a great game, even though we did end up losing by 1 point. The free cap was definitely worth it and the fireworks were pretty awesome. Now if only there was less fog and we could actually see them it would have been even better. Overall though, I can’t complain. This week I went and watched two movies, Get Smart and Hancock. I still have yet to see Wanted though and I know there are a couple of cool movies coming out when I’m in camp so I don’t know when I’ll be able to see those. I also need to buy a car and insurance and then work on getting my motorcycle license through classes near city college. It sounds like fun but that means I have to find time for this stuff. Anyway, pertaining to my website, I’ve actually started podcasting. so far I have nothing to post about so my first sound bite was just telling a little bit about me and the next was to wish everyone a happy 4th of July, which is now technically over. I think I’m just going to be summarizing blogs when I do my next podcast, unless there is something else that I want to really talk about. As of now, I don’t know what that will be. Maybe I should keep a journal of things that I hear and everything that goes on at the zoo..hmm you know that actually sounds really good. I will make sure my mp3 player is charged. Well goodnight to you!

Well, I didn’t really do much, but went to the zoo. I’m really puckered out now and I don’t even know why for sure, but I am. Anyway, I showed up at the zoo in my uniform and ended up doing raptors for the morning, then going to lunch, disinfecting bins, feeding birds, and then walking around. I guess it was pretty cool all in all, but it wasn’t the best and wasn’t the worst zoo day ever. Overall, it was an average day, although it was a little bit hectic at times. I’m glad I showed up at the zoo though. I’ll be in again on Saturday. Ex didn’t show up. I guess she’s having fun somewhere out there and I was pretty glad for her. I love the zoo not only because I love the animals, the people, and teaching people about animals, but because it distracts me from things that I really shouldn’t be thinking about. See, now that I’m home and I have free time to rest, I keep thinking back to what could have been if I had payed just a little more attention, if I had called whenever I could, if I could make more money and if I had told my parents, had the shit kicked out of me. Maybe then I would be happy now, even though hated by my parents, I may have been able to spend more time with her. That’s what happens after this stuff, you think about what could have been and if you take a step back and look to the future, it all looks so grim without her. Every day that goes on, you feel like you’ve accomplished something because you’ve gone just ONE more day without her. Pretty soon years drag out and you’re still living life one day at a time, just being glad you’re alive and that she’s still on the same planet with you since you can’t help wondering what will happen in the future. I hope we’ll still be good. I’ll always be there. I should find other things to write about, but I’m posting this from flock.

What can I say besides the fact that I went to the zoo today. I don’t know what is wrong, but something feels strange and I have to write it out somewhere. Seeing how I don’t have a paper journal, I’ll have to record it here in my electronic journal. Oh and I also took Thumper out for a long long walk at Nella’s wedding. That was fun and the reception was excellent as well. Ok, I guess I still have problems. More problems than I thought I really had. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I don’t like my ex still, but I don’t hate her either. I’m glad that she talks to me now and at least we can interact, but I’m not completely happy with this either. I don’t know what I want and even if I knew what I want I know it won’t be possible. I guess I’m only human and this is a chain of emotions that is common in humanity. What can I say? I miss her and I do still love her, but what can I do about it if she doesn’t care. Absolutely nothing. She has a boyfriend. How can I be the one to go in and say anything to her. I can’t. As much as I love her and want to do whatever I can, she’s friggin happy. It must be a psychological thing. What I want and what I can do. What do I want? Her back. That’s all I really want in this world. Ever. If I could get one wish it would be a fresh start the way it was before. Is that going to happen? No. And what can I do? Absolutely nothing. It feels good to get this out. I’ve told her I love her on so man occasions. I hope she knows that now. I’ll always be there I promised. I won’t back out, even if she wants me to. Too bad.

I know, I usually don’t post journal entries in the middle of the day because I like to be done with my day before I start posting. Thing is now, well started a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve been way too tired to actually post anything at night. I think I might pick up the habit of just writing down my thoughts, emotions, etc. when I’m bored in the journal, so that I don’t have to write as much when I’m tired and ready to snooze. I woke up a couple of hours ago and then watched “Behind Enemy Lines” and now I think I’m headed out to Stonestown, before I head out for a little jog and a little bit of a workout. I don’t know what to do or where I’ll be jogging, but most likely I’ll be out by my beloved beach. See you on the flip side!

It’s actually been a pretty long time since I’ve written in this journal. Awww, poor journal. I guess I’ve skipped a couple of days. I guess it’s ok though right? Not much has been happening since I’ve posted. I went to the zoo and hung out for a while. I finally managed to get the information I needed for that huge Coast Guard package, so now I’m done at least with the paperwork. Today I got my driver’s license, but I still don’t have insurance and I’m probably not going to buy a car until I start school or even on until after I start school. Now what is going on…hmmm, I’m not really sure. I’m still trying to get my life in order. I do know that I at least have my bank account and my license, both things that I wanted to get out of the way before I go to boot camp. When I do go to boot camp I want to pass, so I should start getting myself back into shape. I only have like less than a month before I ship out, so I should really get into shape, start eating less fat and sugar, cutting on the unhealthiness if I want to survive boot camp. I need to prepare myself mentally and forget my civilian side for now. We’ll see what happens, but for now I’ll still continue to post in this journal. Tomorrow I’ll probably go to stonestown with a buddy, walk around, maybe get a jacket or what not for the Giants game on Tuesday and then come home, exercise and what-not. Ok, night now.

Too tired to post, will post tomorrow. I’m about to go to bed after hours and hours of watching Carrier. Had a good day today at the zoo.

Here goes nothing. I almost just forgot to post this journal post. I know it was Thursday yesterday and I totally forgot to do my little laptop cleaning ritual. I like to perform my junk cleanup and virus scans on Thursdays since it has always been my cleanup days. This week I forgot, so instead I’m doing it today, on a Friday. Anyway, everything is pretty cool. I went for a two hour drive in daily city today. That was pretty much the highlight of my day. I also went bowling and went and played some pool too, but it wasn’t too interesting. I did manage to win two games though, so it was all worth it. I did also stay at Serra Bowl for all their shooting games. I haven’t been able to excercise my airsoft very much, so a virtual representation will do just fine for me. Hmmm, and then  we went over and picked up my sister from school. I cut open two pineapples and they were DELICIOUS indeed. What else did I do, oh I picked up some brake pads for the car, since the brakes are pretty janky. I also discovered some old music that I haven’t listened to in a long long while and that is, of course Kenny Rogers. He totally rocks and I know that after my breakup oh like a year ago, I listened to his songs because I could identify and now here is a blast from the past, if I may. I really like his voice and the way he sings, so I really enjoy this song. I guess I’ll be sleeping soon, after this post since I need to go to the zoo this weekend. I’ll probably get my hair cut on Monday and then I’ll take my driving test either Thursday or Friday. We’ll see what happens. Enjoy the tune and goodnight! Oh, side-note you still need to stalk your ex for her address for your coast guard thing…FYI. Night!